Just got back from a sweet backpacking weekend. This journal entry pretty much sums it up…
i bathed by the raging waters this morning! the river swooshed and fell and seemed to be calling me in. so many words she spoke and so loud i couldn’t hear my dreams last night. only river mantra. i splashed mountain water all over me but didn’t feel cold. only alive. just the wish i made–to be reborn! my sun has returned today to warm me. i am in the company of grandmother aspens, so weathered and strong, rattling their wisdom in the sky. there is a difference between loneliness and being alone, the cards say. to feel lonely is to miss another, but to be alone is to be with the Divine. i remember her words, “the whole word is God.” thank you for the reminder, little sister!
i stare at twisty, worn paths of worms on a tree trunk. it makes me wonder if i’m doing what i should be. life can be a blur sometimes. one day you’re popping tar bubbles in the street with your bare toes. you’re 7. then 20-something years pass by. i hear rumi‘s words this morning, “all day i think about it, then at night i say it. where did i come from, and what am i supposed to be doing? i have no idea. my soul is from elsewhere, i’m sure of that, and i intend to end up there.” it’s funny how some speak our heart’s thoughts for us.
we lay in a meadow to watch the clouds. a heart morphs into a 3 legged-stegasaurus, then to an elephant with a funny lip and a mickey mouse ear. this is way better than t.v.! wild columbines and arnica in bloom and smelling so, mmm. snow-melt springs are popping up randomly around us. pine needles in my hair and bugs crawling over my knees. this is just what i needed. yep, i think it’s good to retreat to the woods sometimes, far away from ‘stuffs’*, to be quiet and mix with the earth.
*stuffs: my favorite word Surya misuses when referring to physical things.